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Apr. 5th, 2006 02:27 pm
deoridhe: (Default)
Okay, embarrassing story of my injury. It's embarrassing because it's lame.

I was going to ship my old computer, now dubbed the evil computer, to a friend. I had been remiss in sending it because I am lame, so I was determined ot get it out the door that day, damnit!

Being a wise Deoridhe, I decided that boxing it up then lugging the box was a Bad Plan (tm), so I brought the components into work separately and was going to ship it from there. (For those who want to point and laugh, I haven't shipped it yet. I need to set up the box, then bribe someone to fill it for me, for I cannot lift most of the stuff going into it myself. Woe.) I considered getting a cart to bring it upstairs, but Deo is STRONG Deo!!! Deo is TOUGH Deo!!! Deo doesn't NEED no stinking CART!

Deo at least used the elevator, resting it against the wall.

Now, there's a huge counter behind my desk, but it had a lot of stuff on it, so I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to set the computer on the floor.

For those keeping score at home, this is a bad idea.

I slowly dropped down until I was in a full crouch (not twisting) on the ground, then leaned forward to set the computer on the floor. As I was doing this, something went TWIST in a painful way in the middle of my back. It felt kind of like the winching of a blanket.

Then the pain started.

And I remembered I was wearing a short skirt.

We can gloss over the lying sideways on the floor crying, the propping self up on office chair and rolling it to reach the phone, and the destruction of the surface of my desk to reach the keyboard so I could send my roommate an email to come and get me parts. And don't even ask about how hard it is to type my password one handed, okay? Fucking nightmare. Let's go straight to the shiny ER people who bodily lifted me onto a stretcher, then drove slowly to the hospital. I prefer not to dwell on the half hour or so before they gave me drugs (ahh, valium, I would date with you! ah, vicodin, I would date with YOU!), though I will mention in passing it took two doses of valium, two of vicodin, and one of ibuprophen before they could get me standing up and using a walker.

Yeah. It sucked.

It still kinda sucks. I'm ready for the pain to stop, already!
deoridhe: (Default)
This post is all about [ profile] learan. Yes, this is from an old ass post; I never said I was reliable. 8P

[ profile] learan is all but my little sister, but I unfortunately came a bit late for the "inflicting permanent psychological damage" portion of her life, and other people were better at that anyway. She always was cute, funny, and smart beyond her years. As a youngster she kept up with people several years her senior, and now she's all but the same age, mentally and emotionally at least. She can charm the trees out from under the birds if she wants too, and has a flair for connecting with people that I truly envy. She's managed in her short years to accomplish things that people decades her senior haven't pulled off, and some of them I didn't even know about until after the fact.

I tried to give her my love of poetry. I think it stuck. ;)

She also is, and this is vaguely embarrassing as an older sister to say - but if I can write it on her in sharpie I can surely type it into livejournal, very hott. With two /t/s because one is not enough. After watching that Nanny reality TV show I'm tempted to get the naughty sharpie, though! She keeps trying to deny it! OMG! She has the flattest stomach I have ever seen, and this great mischievous smile, and one of these days we need to get her into something tight and girly and go out to play.

HOTT. Did you hear me, [ profile] learan? HOTT.

I have a sharpie, and I'm not afraid to use it!!!
deoridhe: (Default)
I hope none of you were too worried about my abrupt absence from Livejournal... not that you;d notice form my posting. Ah heh heh heh. To tell the truth, I injured my back in a sincerely embarrassing manner, and am slowly convalescing. This is the first time I've been too my room since it happened on Wednesday, since I live up a set of stairs from the main living area. My roommate has been a sincere blessing and love during this period of time; I couldn't have managed it without her.

I'm on some fairly strong medication, and I have an appointment with a specialist tomorrow to chart my recovery, so please don't worry about me! I promise I'll be good as new in a month or so. In the mean time, please forgive any of my absences. Sitting upright, while very enjoyable, tends to wear me out.

If you need anything, please feel free to email me at my livejournal address. Now that I can get to my computer I expect I'll be checking it daily.

Best wishes and I hope to talk to you all realtime soon! Sorry if this seems spammy, but it seemed the best way to reach a lot of people at once. My appologies if it bothers you.

[Crossposted liek WHOA]

(And I think I'll write down people's names and write down nice things about them longhanded, while I can lie down. Whew, this sitting up thing is tough! A half hour and I'm ready for a kip.)
deoridhe: (Default)
1. Reply to this post if you'd like some ego boosting.

2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you, only you, and why I think whatever I do about you.

Alli-kun so totally stroked my ego. No one has actually said I'm FUNNY before!!! *slips him a twenty on the side* ;)


I've been rereading the Belgariad, by whathisface, recently and I'm finding it harder and harder to ignore the subtle mysogyny in it. There is some overt feminism - some women might actually be good rulers! - but the mysogyny slithers into all of the crevaces and may end up with me no longer reading the books if I reach the point where I can't stomach it... which would be a first for me; I've stopped reading books because I didn't like them, but not because I liked them but disapproved of the assumptions and values of the world created.

Let me explain what I mean by subtle mysogyny, since I'm here. Take the character of Polgara - the daughter of Belgarath and a powerful sorceress and disciple of Aldur. There is an overt reference to and sidestepping of overt mysogyny when she is declared the last - her father says he wasn't used to the idea of women as disciples or equals and the implication is that was obviously wrong - but the subtle mysogyny infuses her entire existence as a character through the following:

Read more... )
deoridhe: (Default)
Apparently, I can run (elipt?) a 13 minute mile, which is rather cool. I ate an incredible amount of food afterward, though, and was starving this morning. I did manage to eat rice with tomatoes, egg, and chicken mixed it (vehy good) and yoghurt, and oatmeal, though - nothing "unhealthy." The next step is to start getting those green vegetables in.

I'm also in remedial math in preparation for taking my GRE again. Le sigh. Most of what I've know, I've forgotten; I couldn't even remember the relative relationships to sides of a triangle!!! I suck. I still remember quadratic method, at least. Amusingly, I scored in the 2nd percentile on math, getting barely anything right, and I made about as many mistakes in verbal that I made correct answers in math.

Yeah. We can see what I've been using. Stupid, tricksy numbers.

Also, my zoo is steadily growing. The unicorns have to be my favorite thing, really. I'm hoping I can get the yellow brick road Easter Egg opened as well. The happiness of my little peoples is dropping, though, so I may need to shift a few things around to make them happier.

Also, our apartment has more video games than any should. I'm currently working my way through an old, but good, RPG of DOOM called Grandia; mucho fun. I have a couple other games waiting in the wings, including Dragon Quest VII, and I'm eternally tempted by what [ profile] makami picked up - especially now that she's been eaten by WOW. Not enough hours in the day - I'm telling you!

I'm also being my usual bitch in debate on Gaia, though I find myself increasingly tired of people who argue in circles. I did have the fun of ripping into the lack of logic of a recent poster (in private messages - he started it!) and having him come to the startling realization that he shouldn't talk about shit when he's not knowledgable about it. *gasp* ;) Actually, he turned out to be a rather sweet person, and it's been a while since I've seered the fuzz off of a bunny with rage alone.

Alton Brown is my TV boyfriend. 'M jus' sayin'.

I'd be more interesting, but it just isn't happening these days.
deoridhe: (Tohru)
Cleo-chan tagged me, and since she's some BNF in Search of a Fandom, or something, I figured the least I could do is bend to her twisted and egotistical will. *le sigh* ;)

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Just for the record - I refuse to tag. If y'all want to post your seven favorite songs, go for it.

1. Shell, from Witch Hunter Robin, an anime.

2. Away from Me, by Evanescence. It's from one of their pre-making-it-big albums.

3. Inner Universe, by Yoko Nakko, from Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, another anime.

4. Broken, by Seether - the version with Amy Lee.

5. Whatever I Fear, by Toad the Wet Sproket.

6. Anarchy, by KMFDM.

7. Fade Away, by Seether. Yes, I put in Seether twice. Yes, this is because I bought their CD a few months back. Yes, it's because the song Broken was on the radio. Yes, I am a tool of mass media - fuck off. ;)

The band I want desperately to get into and yet have managed to not buy a single CD of is Cruxshadows.

Oh, and btw, please don't nudge me. If you really want to know what's going on with me, and I'm not being enough of a monkey to dance for your entertainment, send me a fucking email. I get (and write) enough form letters at work; I really don't want to get them from my "friends." ktnxbai
deoridhe: (Default)
OMG! I'm blond and I thought I'd heard them all!

*snickers liek whoa*
deoridhe: (Runic Eclipse)
Last night I went to a wonderful talk on Jungian psychology and the experience of shifting archetypal energies into ones body and watching that work flower. There was an odd side effect of it, though, which I lay solidly and gratefully on the doorsteps of my friends.

Jungian psychology, as it stands now, is missing stories. And it's missing stories because it is making into objects those who could bring us these stories if they were subjects. That all sounds horribly confusing, doesn't it? I'll get more explicit.

There is an archetypal figure that is called the "Black Madonna." She is a large, dark skinned woman who started showing up in the dreams of thin, white women. She represents warmth, wisdom, earthiness, pleasure, and a whole host of wonderful things, but she is a story that arises from people who view those with dark skin as objects, not subjects. It is a taking of a type of person - an image of a person - and making them an internal reference.

More and more this bothers me. At a basic level, this objectification is bourne out of ignorance, and even if complimentary it is still something which makes other that which I would call friend; makes stereotype that which I would know individually.

Of course.... I say this as a large, pale woman... so I don't know how much validity that carries.

But the absence of these stories - these dreams - and the wall that seems to be built around something I love - is a physical pain for me, and I don't know what to do about it.
deoridhe: (Deoridhe - from Caleb)
Black Pheonix Alchemy Lab is a wonderful place to get unusual perfumes with dramatic intents. Below is a listing of perfumes that partifularly appealed to me; if you feel so inspired, please pick which appeal to you or you think fit me the most.

Lots of Ticky Boxes!!!

The whole poll here )
deoridhe: (Default)
Just a brief note - I discovered a new source of tl;dr goodness via a friend's link recently. The Fanfic Symposium is an archive for fanfic related rants and it's very cool. The rant which lured me there before drugging me and robbing me of my tl;dr virginity is this one about gender in fandom. Highly recomended for all my friends of the "overthink" variety.
deoridhe: (Sanzo's Pissed)
Dear Mouthbreather with Caller ID:

No, really, you don't need to return every call made to your telephone, especially when the person didn't leave a message. Although I am the receptionist and I know a lot, "Someone who works with non-destructive technology, maybe in the lab" is really not helpful when trying to figure out who the fuck called you.

Stop expecting me to know who the fuck called you.

No love,

Your POed Neighborhood Receptionist
deoridhe: (Default)
A recent bookstore purchase made me giggle. I am, as many of you know, a rabid manga fan. About once a week I traipse over to one of the local bookstores, grab a stack, and sit and drink chai, eat a cookie or brownie, and read. The time before last I walked out with two manga: the latest Hellsing (Seras kicks ASS!!!) and MeruPuri.

Hellsing is, for those not aquainted with Manga, a badly researched story based in England that largely centers around battles between the Protestant and Catholic Churches and Vampires. It is bloody, gory, has people on spikes (er ee er ee er ee), bodyparts flying, and the coolest female character ever drawn in a manga, Integral Hellsing. Plus Alucard. Who can't love Alucard? Well, lots of people... *ahem*

I blame it on my vampire fetish.

MeruPuri, on the other hand, is about Airi, a young girl whose dream is to meet the perfect man and live with him happily ever after, making a quiet, happy, domestic life with him. She's turned topsy turvy when a ten year old prince from another realm comes through the mirror passed down from her great, great... great grandmother, who just happened to come from the other country this kid is from. When it gets dark, he ages, thanks to a curse put on him by his older borhter, so half the time he's small and cute and watching power rangers, and the other half of the time he's tall and sexy and watching power rangers.

The only thing which makes him young again is a kiss from his chosen maiden, who he declares to be (obviously) Airi. Hijinks ensue. It ends up in the reverse-harem area, which I'm finding quite entertaining.

So yeah... I walked out the door with two of the most wildly different manga I could have chosen... and I keep alternating in reading them.

I'm beginning to think there's something seriously wrong with my mind. *giggle*


Oct. 17th, 2005 03:02 pm
deoridhe: (Default)
I've been thinking lately a lot about control and power. What does it mean to be in control? What does it mean to have power? How can control and power be used effectively and when should they be relinquished.

The core of this idea was articulated, very poorly, in the second Matrix movie when Neo and the Counselor discussed being in control of the machines and how, even in Zion, they were dependant upon machines for their very existence. Neo said that control was the ability to turn the machines off.

Many of the people I know, whose ideas I value, I talk to via a machine. Makes you think.

I also wonder what it is to be in control of the self. Where should the line between impulse and natural behavior, and training and control fall? How much should bodies and minds be "trained," and if they are thus, can you really say that you are you anymore?

...these are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.

CSI Dream

Sep. 28th, 2005 11:32 am
deoridhe: (I can kill you with my brain)
I had a dream last night.

I dreamed of Grissom and Catherine and bodies and bugs and covering up evidence... only it was a CSI AU, where Grissom was a serial killer and was caught with the body still around, but was also the head of CSI so had an easier time covering up his own crimes, and Catherine had no clue.

...I really need to stop dreaming about serial killers. At least this one had a face... improvement, I guess.
deoridhe: (Runic Eclipse)
One of the interesting challenges of a reconstructional religion from Europe or North Africa is that, to put it bluntly, we're not in Europe or North Africa.

The religions of conversion - Christianity, Buddhism, and to a lesser extent Islam - are non-specific. They carry a quality of universality with them. Buddha's stories are non-local specific. Jesus' parables are non-local specific. The daily prayers of the Muslim, while turned toward Mecca, may be done anywhere in the planet. Especially in application, these religions have become more and more abstract and cut off from the physical context of the person belonging to it.

By contrast, indigenous and tribal religions often reference actually physical objects or aspects of the land. The gods live in this mountain and man was formed from this stream bed. Even if the local isn't specifically mentioned, the very character of the myths seems appropriate for certain locations and climates; the assumptions of them point to a physical location even without explicit references to this mountain or that river.

As a person reconstructing a religion on a continent alien to my religion's origin, I find the tenor of the land is another strand to weave into the mesh of my religion. To give a simple example, my fylgia - that part of me which is animalistic and intangible - is a snake. For the land where my gods were worshipped long ago, snakes are feared or reviled; the wyrm is an enemy - not a friend - even when dripping venom on the face of a god for punishment. By contrast, the land where I find myself now has appreciation and liking of the snake as a part of many of the indigenous religions and cultures. Althought a bear or a raven might be more historically viable, the influence of my home (for this continent is my home, not Germany or Denmark - for all I loved the land when I was there) is a part of my basic existence.

I think this is something important to keep in mind when reconstructing a religion. Although we bring the gods with us, and we call them here, we are still of the here and now, not the then and there.


Edited to Add: I've decided to do a meme, because crantz rules my pantz:

When you see this on your f'list, quote something from Shakespeare.

"I could be shut up in a nutshell and count myself King of infinite space were it not that I have bad dreams."


Sep. 17th, 2005 05:21 pm
deoridhe: (Default)
I've long been arrears in the typing up of this; it's largely not about Otakon in general; there are enough con reports to entertain people for years if they wished. Rather, this report is aimed at a specific hobbie of a friend and I, the MegaTen series of video games she interested me in several years back. Sadly, she was unable to attend these meetings with me, but I had agreed to go and take notes, and below is the result of those notes with what links I have available.

For those who haven't happened across the apartment while we've played, MegaTen refers to a series of games by Atlus which have several offshoots of interest. The one which triggered her, and thus my, initial interest is called Persona. The original Persona was badly mangled when it was brought over, including introducing characterizations which hadn't existed in the first game and an attempt at multiculturalism that failed so far as to be rather racist. The second - or rather second of a two part series - that was brought over (Persona: Eternal Punishment; henceforth Persona 2b) was happily left along in terms of characters and images, resulting it it being a bit more popular. Shin Megami Tensei (MegaTen) Nocturne was then released - the first actual part of the main MegaTen series released in the US. Digital Devil Saga is the latest release, and we're eagerly awaiting the second half of it later this month.

Not many people have heard of the game. It's a difficult series, marked most prominently by the inclusion of "demons" who are pulled from all mythologies and serve as both allies and enemies. In most cases, MegaTen starts with a normal seeming situation which is rapidly knocked out of balance, either disrupting a world which remains or entirely destroying a world in the creation of a new one. For those of an occultic, mythological, psychological bent, the series is a delight. For those of a puritanical bent, I'm sure it must be a nightmare.

In any case, that scuffs out the background; on to the particulars of the two workshops I attended.

4PM Friday: Megaten Talk )

Do You Know Jack Frost? )

Links formt he Wig Workshop (which kicked ass): and

Sorry about the wait, [ profile] shingan!!
deoridhe: (Runic Eclipse)
This is for [ profile] athenemiranda.

We get the runes from Odin, but he wasn't the creator of them. Instead, Odin put himself through an ecstacy rite - one which would be lethal for a mortal. With a spear through the chest, he hung from a tree for nine nights, and then - with a great cry - scooped up the runes. Kindly, he later had them taught to a son of Earl, and from thence came them to us.

For the purpose of this debate, "magic" is defined as "altering the tides of chance in your favor." An example would be, making a rune for fertility and having your tank population of fish double in two weeks... not that I tested that, or anything. A chance occurance - could happen randomly - but still... eerily coincidental.

I have my own thoughts for why and how runes work to alter chance in the favor of the user (if used well), and they tie directly back into how Odin found the runes.

To reach for wisdom, not for bread. )
deoridhe: (Default)
Sp far, a very successful weekend. Saturday and Sunday were spent relaxing and hanging out with [ profile] shingan, with a Beer & Bitch on Saturday night. Nothing special, just relaxing.

Monday, I started the project. Well, continued, really, since I'd made the patterns several months ago when I picked up the fabic and decided to make a costume for Rosette, from Chrono Crusade. I iron at least ten yards of fabric and cut from it the entire basic costume, with lots of white left to spare but no extra blue at all! I also started refitting the bodice, which is going to be a struggle to make.

Today, sewing. I'm planning to make the Habit hat first, then the dress. The extra white may or may not go for a set of pantaloons. I had thought of adding a pocket to the dress, but I don't think it's going to work.

Today, I finished ironing the last of the fabric (green, for the many pouches she carries) and now I'm getting dressed and ready to dive into sewing. At least now I can sit down!


Aug. 10th, 2005 11:19 pm
deoridhe: (Default)
I finished The Portrait of Dorian Gray tonight. I'm insanely in love with Wilde and his writing; the delicacy and macabre of that book is outstanding; it's like "Austen does horror." I found the "moral message" of it enlightening as well, as it highlighted a major facet of my moral structure.

Unlike the treacley moral messages fobbed off on most unsuspecting children, Dorian doesn't suffer any of the expected consequences for his actions. He committes heinous crimes and manages to cover them up well enough that no one suspects him. Instead, the consequences for his actions are played out on a uniquely personal plain of existence - one so subtle that those who love him best are blind to it.

I think one of the interesting aspects of this, as well, was how it highlighted hypocrisy. Contrary to what the media seems to like to say, hypocrisy is alive and well in the "honest and forthright" United States of America, on a political, social, and personal scale. Like has been seen throughout history, people are more apt to accept an appearance of virtue than virtue itself.

I think the major cause of this is that, to a very large extent, we are all blind to the personal moral dramas played out among those around us. Even those people who make a point of sharing all their quandries with anyone who doesn't care are acting to an audience instead of being truly personally accountable. There is an extent to which moral struggles happen in the dark, with the edges showing to those around us but the true meat hidden within. Due to this, people are hamstrung when it comes to truly appreciating who is around them and what their true qualities are.


deoridhe: (Default)

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